Letter to Alice (Anxiety) and Dina (Depression)

Alice, Dina… we need to talk about some things. Well, it has been a while since we’ve last spoken to each other. I hope you two are comfortably sat down because this might be a long one.

I was around 11 when I noticed your presence. You were just two nameless faces in the crowd that is my life, but somehow, you made your way closer and closer towards me until we became kind of friends. I say ‘kind of’ because I’m not sure what you were to me anymore. Did you mean well or harm? To this day I still don’t know what you meant to me.

I remember you two representing my thoughts into these… these misty, black orbs of anger, sadness and rage. I’d want to reply in a nicer tone, but you’d jump to the opportunity to interrupt me and make me seem angry all the time. Why is that? What did I do to you to make you so angry all the time?

Looking back, it’s weird how you were always hovering around me with every step that I took. I never knew what you wanted from me. I never knew to ask anyways. It was nice having friends at that time, so I stayed silent.

That is, until December 2015. I talked to someone about you two, you know. Someone professional who helps people like me get rid of ‘friends’ like you. ‘Friends’ who aren’t really friends. Just an aura that messes with people. People who think they are helpless and not good for life. Well guess what? I’m alive and well now, thanks for asking. Sometimes, I miss the sense of security you gave me. You were like a blanket that kept me snug throughout our 12-year… saga (cannot call it a friendship anymore, ladies, sorry not so sorry).

 So consider this a farewell note. An end of a saga. A new chapter in my life, with you no longer in it.

Goodbye Alice, Dina.

See you never.

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20-something years old. Blogger. Aspiring writer. Teacher's Assistant.

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