My Biggest Fear

If this were a YouTube video, I would call it a sit-down type thing, where I sit down and talk sh*t about my life, and viewers (if any) would listen. As if I’m a talker. But here goes. In this “sit-down” I will be discussing my biggest fear right now. No no, it’s not the clowns (even though yes, still scared shitless of them), or death or anything of that sort.

It’s relapse.

Now I know I’m in a very good place right now, having come out with my battle with depression anxiety some two months ago, and I haven’t been a pessimistic crud since March, but let’s face it, the possibility is there. All it takes is one wrong step. Now how ironic is it saying this and not sound pessimistic?

I’m being realistic.

This week I had splitting headaches thinking of what would happen if I ever relapse. Would my co-workers lose faith in me? Would I put my family through misery? And what about my few good friends and boyfriend? What would they do?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m good right now. This is NOT a relapse moment for me. Just a thought I had before going to bed one fine Sunday. I mean come on, who has these thoughts just before going to bed?!

I might update this post from time to time, make it more decorative since it looks like crap.

That’s it from me.

Stay Strong X

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